Life – Page 2 – Now The Truth Can Be Told

And so it goes . . . . .

Got up early, left the house early, well before 8:00 AM, as it’s Monday and I have my weekly office meeting to run. No workers were on site when I left but it was early and I figured they’d show up near or after eight. Busy day at work, many agents coming at me with many needs, so I completely forgot that today was DAY ONE. David and I are leaving for 6 days in Manhattan tomorrow so I came home early, 2:30 PM, to pack. I just assumed I’d turn the corner onto Flora and there would be heavy equipment tearing up the street in front of our vacant lot. But no. No. Nada. Nothing. Not a thing had been disturbed, it was very clear no one had been here at any point throughout the day.

Really, when you think about it, it was probably the perfect start to building our house after almost two year’s of planning, pushing, and waiting. They have clearly established how they are going to keep our expectations in check. They have clearly established who’s really in control here.

DAY ONE, a harbinger of what’s to come.

Things I Wish I’d Said First

“Figuring out what matters most matters most.”

~ I came across this while surfing “news articles” on Facebook. As I guy who makes small lists on 3 X 5 cards almost every night about the next day, and as I guy who carries a full size spiral notebook with me everywhere I go titled, “To Do,” I really appreciate that sentiment. You should see how many pages I can fill up when stuck on a plane with my To Do notebook. I just sit there, no music, no movies, no distractions, and make lists as I mentally “walk through” either one of our homes, as I think about my career, as I think about goals, etc. Often by time the plane lands I’m exhausted just thinking about what I want to get done.

One Of The Few Things I Remember Well

Hey, today is my and David’s 32nd Anniversary. Our first date, a blind one, was on Tuesday February 12th, 1985. I remember every detail of that week well. We first spoke on the phone on Sunday the 10th. I remember this because 60 Minutes was about to come on and I called him before it started to ask if he’d be available to talk after it was over. I was being deliberately coy. Or so I thought. He said yes and I called him for our first real conversation at 8:00 PM, after 60 Minutes was over. I asked him out for Tuesday night, the 12th. I had tickets to see a play at Empty Space Theatre and asked him if he wanted to go with me. On Tuesday we met at The Mark Toby for a drink, went across the street to have dinner at the Red Onion, (we debate this, I think it was called the Red Onion but David thinks it was the Red Cabbage), and then off to see the play. Which we walked out of. It was called Husbandry and it was slow and tedious and dreadful. Even on a first date we were both nodding off. Then I drove him to where he was living (Fremont, in his sister’s basement) and we stopped at Baskin Robbin’s on Greenlake Drive and had ice cream. In front of his sister’s house I looked him straight in the eye and asked him if he wanted to have a second date. I had found a lot of flakes during my dating years and was getting more and more direct with guys. He said, “Yes.” I said, again wanting to not be vague and not waste any time, “When?” And he said, “Tomorrow.” I took that as a very good sign. We kissed once and he got out of my old Ford Courier pick-up truck. I remember being completely ecstatic driving home to Capitol Hill.

I called David in the first place because he sent me a very well written letter. He sent me a letter because I placed a personal in The Weekly when they only ran STRAIGHT personal ads. (This was decades before men seeking men or women seeking women ad categories.)

We had our second date on Wednesday night. I had not (and I swear to god this is true) watched TV in years prior to this date. I didn’t own but a 12 inch black and white little plastic TV and I was going through that “I’m too good for TV” bullshit phase that young people try on. David wanted to watch something and he thus introduced me to something called Dynasty. We made out a little bit after Dynasty and then he went home. Again I asked, as he left, if he wanted to see me again. I had a stack of other letters to open and read if he did not, but I was so hoping he did. He did. He asked if Friday was possible. It was.

The next night, Thursday, David had another date from a different personal ad in he found in The Weekly. I didn’t find this out until years later.

On Friday we talked on the phone (because I couldn’t text him back then!) and we decided I’d make us dinner at my house which was at 2202 East John Street on the lower east side of Capitol Hill. I told him he should bring a toothbrush. He did. We have never been apart for more than six days in a row since that night.

WRAP THIS UP:

The Mark Toby went out of business. The Red Cabbage, or Onion, went out of business. Empty Space Theatre went out of business. Husbandry was never performed ever again anywhere in the world (I hope). Baskin Robbin’s might still be on Greenlake Drive tho’ most of them have gone out of business. I’d have to remember to go to Greenlake to check on this and the streets there make me crAZy so I likely won’t. The Weekly is a lame and sad version of what it once was and I predict it will go out of business within a year. 60 Minutes is still on TV and we both watch it every Sunday night while having dinner. 2202 East John Street is still standing and I drive by it at least once a week, I’m sure we all do since it’s on an arterial. And guess what? Dynasty is back on TV with a whole new cast and we are recording it and watching it weekly. Oddly we seldom make out afterwards. But hey, less making out happens in your 32nd year. Then again, 32 years and we’re still in business.

In November of 2015 David and I went to a party

The idea to dismantle our koi pond and garden and build a house where the koi pond and garden used to be came to us as we left a party on November 7, 2015. In 2011 David and I downsized from a house that had 4,300 square feet of living space (and a 400 square foot garage in addition to that) to a much smaller house in the heart of Georgetown. Our current Georgetown house has two floors, each with 1,120 square feet, for a grand total of 2,240. Everything we need fits into it. Beyond being the perfect sized house for us now, it came with something that I longed for: a flat, vacant 4,000 square foot. It had a sidewalk on the street on one side and level alley access on the other side. It became the garden project of my dreams. While we realized it could have a house on it, we never planned on building anything more than a great yard.

Then we went to this party. The party was a joint effort of Joe and Kim who own JAS Design Build and two sisters who each had a home of their own before they decided to buy this little Wallingford bungalow and downsize into it together. JAS did the gut and remodel to the bungalow and the work was enchanting to David and me. We had such a nice time at this party: great cocktails, great food, cool glassware, all served up in a wonderfully designed space, perfect space. We spent most of the night taking each other aside and saying, “Hey did you notice the way . . . ” or “Take a look at the way they . . . ” or “This is how we should live, in smaller but higher quality space.”

We stayed at this party way longer than we planned to stay out that night and we took it all in. It was, in our minds, the perfect event. Mary and Melinda (the sisters) gathered fun, interesting people together and presented them with a wonderful spread in a great space. As David and I were closing the car doors and pulling away from the party, I looked at David and said, “Fuck. Now I want us to build a house.

And that’s how it all started.

A Huge Sigh Of Relief

I can finally relax. December 17th and I can finally relax. I just hugged and kissed David and Opal and waved goodbye as they drove off on a road trip to Palm Springs. I am alone and calm, things are progressing as planned.

Today THE LETTER could start arriving at people’s homes. The mass mailing went off without a hitch this year (as far as I know since this is the first year I didn’t actually go to the bulk mail division of the post office and mail it myself). I picked the 20 page missive up at Kinkos, took it to my office, and with 5 helpers stuffed it into next year’s calendars, then stuffed those into envelopes, then sealed the envelopes, then labelled the sealed envelopes, and then sorted and counted them by zip code.

537. This year the mailing was 537 pieces. At this point this year I was done. Usually at this point my faithful friend Tim and I would box these up, load them into our cars, and drive to the bulk mail post office. It was always a negative experience for me. Stressful. Depressing. They have crAZy forms that must be filled out by doing complicated math while following about 17 rules the Postmaster has devised to make the experience miserable. (Really, I’m good with most math but theirs is most complicated with multiple factors that each have 5 numbers trailing the decimal point and that vary based on quantities to certain zip codes and by piece weight and, my favorite part, the teeny-tiny boxes on the form that you can’t fit a 7 digit number into neatly.)

Last summer I was dreading this out loud to my friend Matt and he told me there was a woman who worked in his office who did this for hire around the holidays to make extra money. I called her in July and literally set a date and time for her to pick these up in December. We settled on 2:00 PM on Thursday December 15th. I wanted to get on her radar early and secure a slot. This gave me a writing deadline that I don’t usually have. But it also gave me peace. Renee arrived at the exact time we set back in July and I sighed with relief and turned my focus to getting David packed and on the road for Palm Springs.

Can I Blog?

Today I finished writing our 2016 Christmas Letter. I was exhausted and working on a deadline so I never proofed it, I just took it to Kinkos and said, “600 copies please.” And now I’m staring at WordPress pages wondering if I can blog. And more to the point, can I blog well enough to replace 600 copies of a 20 page letter?